SAPULKAMO!

Dati, ang dali-dali sabihin ng mga bagay. Kahit `di na pag-isipan, okay lang. Normal lang. Walang malisya. Pero ngayon? Simula nung nalaman kong mayroon na pala talaga, hindi na. Nagbago na. Nakakainis lang, dati kaya natin kahit tayo lang dalawa. Ngayon, hindi na. Nakakailang at lahat kailangan na munang pag-isipan.

Just Another Letter

Dear November,

Good morning and hello, November! :-)

A new month to go through and the second to the last month of this year, 2010. October seems to treat me well, like srsly well that I have welcomed you on a happy state. I know that there`ll be a lot of changes that will happen to me this month. I have to get used to waking up early `cos I have morning classes, same as I have to learn sleeping early at night. And that would be my serious problem, I don`t know how I`ll be able to manage my time. Start of a new semester, new life. I have to work harder. I also need to minimize the use of computer. Well, I just thought.

I wish for the continuity of my happiness. I don`t want to be sad anymore. I don`t want lots of thoughts to cover up my mind. I don`t want my feelings to eat me whole. I don`t want to be on my weakest times again, just like on September. I am wishing for more strength to help me go through everything. I need not to depend on others but to myself. I am wishing not only for the best for myself but also to my loved ones, to the people around me, to my beloved country, and to the world. I am wishing for everything that`s good.

November is a month of celebrations too. My brother`s birthday on the 5th and my mother`s birthday on the 7th. Lots of my friends are going to celebrate their birthdays this month also. Please, bless them.

And now it`s November 1st, All Saint`s Day, 02:40 AM and I`m still awake. I am praying for the souls of all the people who passed away, and their loved ones who they have left. Please bless us all.

This has been my life for how many years and I just want something different, for a change. Please let me discover something wonderful about life and most specially about my existence. I have let go of everything and I am ready to take everything upon God`s will.

I totally feel free now. Just please make me stronger, I don`t want to be eaten up again of my emotions. I have realized that everything has its reason and purpose. If there`s something that is bound to happen, let it be. I won`t wait. I won`t expect. I won`t assume. Not anymore. I`ll just be myself and live the way I am supposed to live. I will live a happy life. Please bless me with a sound mind and heart that will help me make the best decisions. Life is always tough, then I must be tougher. I`ll definitely be the commander of the life I`m living.

As I have to end this, just please bless all the people around me specially my family and friends. I wish them well. November, please let me feel I am loved. Let me feel I am something special. Make me brave. Please help me bring out the best of me. I trust you. And I love you. Until the next 30 days… Good night! :-)

Love always,

Kathleen