Getting There

If this is before, then they will all be should have beens, could have beens, might have beens, and must have beens. But since, I think I have put my thoughts into actions... that I am over and done with that, finally... everything that had happened is just usual and pretty normal. I have no malicious thoughts of some sort now. It was all plain and yeah, normal. And I`m happy and too proud of myself. Heehee.
I just love how everything is going now. It feels like they are all going back to place. I`m so thankful. This life. <3

:'(

Napaka-makasalanan ko. :-(

Hindi ko naman akalain na aabot sa ganito pero kasalanan ko talaga.

Hindi ko man sinasadya pero kasalanan ko talaga.

Dapat kasi hindi na lang.

Dapat una palang, tinigilan ko na.

Dapat noon pa lang, lumugar na ako sa dapat kong kalagyan.

Sana hindi na umabot sa ganito.

Sana hindi na nagyari yung mga nangyari na.

Sana hindi na basta.

Hay. Ewan.

Nakakalungkot.

Nakakaiyak.

;___;

It`s too sad when no one remembers. It makes me think I`m alone. Yes, I`m more of a loner but I still long for thoughts from other people. A simple "What`s up?" would be enough. But I think I`m receiving none the past days. I`m receiving none in the days when I needed it the most. I`ve been sick the past days, the kind of sickness that feels like it`s the end of the world for me. Yeah, srsly. I`ve been experiencing tremendous headache and body pain. My body temperature`s getting higher everyday. I`m not eating the way I used to eat since Friday. I can`t get to explain everything, you know. Basta, I`m sick.

And what saddens me is the that, my friends don`t bother asking how am I and all that. I felt like I`m dying, you know. And if ever I die, I think they`ll never know. It doesn`t interest them in anyway. Oh and there are some friends who would occasionally ask how am I, but then there`d be, oh can you please bring this and that. Oh, fuck you. Better not ask me at all.

And tomorrow, we`ll go to the Doctor again. Oh, please. I know this is not Dengue. I don`t want to die early. Yeah, I`ve been crying everytime it gets on my mind, like what if I have Dengue? No, please no. I hope I`ll get better na `cos I`m feeling really, really weak and I hate that.

Gotta go, my Mom`s yelling at me, heh. I need to rest.