I love the way you are; I hate the way I am

Dear You,

Today, I told someone how I feel about you. I told her how you made me feel. I have so much to brag about you `cos you`re such an awesome guy, and you should know that.

I feel sorry for myself for being such a coward not telling you this. But I`m bearing all the heartaches it is giving me, it`s my choice anyways. It`s never easy to sleep since then on. It haunts me not only at night but every time. I can never seem to forget how much I care for you. I care too much that I forget about myself. I may sound stupid but I just want you happy even if that means I have to endure all the pain. I guess my feeling for you is that intense.

You know what? I`m waiting for the day I can finally tell how lucky I am to know you. The day that I can tell how much you have changed my life. Because on the very first day I laid my heart on you, I was never the same. Everything has changed. You made my life more lovely and worth living. You`re the reason why I love waking up and the same reason why I don`t want to sleep.

I wish I can tell you everything. That you`re the one I`m thinking of every time it rains, when I see the stars, the moon, and the sky. You`re always on my mind whenever I see cats, dogs, and butterflies. You`re just on my mind, always.

I badly want to let you know how I feel yet I`m too scared to start. If I only have the courage, then I must be telling you stories that whirl up on my mind for years. You know how much I love to talk and it must be too interesting to hear me talking good stuff about you.

But there are times that I can`t help but to blame myself for liking you. We are friends. I don`t want to break the friendship but I can`t help not to notice you too. You`re too amazing to ignore. You`re too amazing.

I wish I can tell you everything. I`m sorry I won`t be able to finish this. I can`t help not to cry. I hate nights like this. I need someone to talk to. I guess I`ll be telling another person about this. I need advice. A fucking advice. I hope you`re happy. I guess I`m liking you too much.



Love always,

Me