So tired of broken hearts and losing at this game *** JULY-AYAY

Ohayou people!!! I am here again updating this bloggy-blog blog of mine after ugh, two weeks? Oh well, nothing's up with me anyway. I don't know why but my life is very stagnant. :| No pagbabagos, you know. I felt like I am living just to wake up - go to school - go home - and sleep.

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What's the feeling of being bitter? Urban dictionary defines it as: to be pretty damn upset about something and maybe I've been bitter the past days. Argh. Why? It's because I am super in love with an anime character. Yes, I am. I am in love with L Lawliet of Death Note. He's always on my mind, eh? Yeah, this is weird. And then, I have a classmate on my speech subject (the one I mentioned on my previous blog) and he really looks like L, at least for me. I just can't resist to look at him because he's so L. I don't know if he knows L and makes himself look like him. Plus he's kind of a rocker type, which I really adore. Well, whatever. And that's the reason I consider him as my crush. BUT all of my friends are crushing on him too, selfish as I am, I just don't want the popular-to-the-girls-type-of-guy so that's why I've decided to stop crushing on him. So there it goes, he's not my crush anymore but whenever I see him, he reminds me of L again and then all I know is I ended up smiling. WAAAH. I hate this feeling. And I think this guy is liking one of my friends, this is fine with me. BUT as they all know that I have a crush on him, (which I just ended up) maybe they'll be thinking that I am super left behind, get me? I am not okay with that. You know, the your-crush-having-a-crush-with-a friend-of-yours situation . It's not painful or what because this is just purely admiration, that's it. Go on, be happy. I am perfectly fine. :)) So, what am I gonna do? Ah, basta. Hindi ko na siya crush. He's not L. He's not my L. He's just a guy. And this is so much for that. BB.

FYI: I changed my friendster layout just now. [LINK]

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For other informations, school and Facebook is keeping me busy these days. Since I am having afternoon classes, I am still continuing my vampire life. I sleep mostly from 1-2 am and wake up from 10-11 am. I used to get 8-9 hours sleep a day. :)
I am trying my very best to learn the basics of Financial Accounting, HAHA. I am super enjoying my Oral Communication class. :)
I am getting ready for Joyce's debut on Friday. Yes, I will not attend my Accounting class on Friday, so yes I am cutting class. HAHA. YAY! I'll be seeing my high school friends again. :D
And lastly, it is 12:15 AM now. So this is nothing but JULY. YAY! My birthmonth.
MMMMM... Happy. HAHA. Be ready because I'll be posting my wishlist soon. :3
So that's it for now. BB.^^

Will This Pen Ever Run Out Of Ink? (Father's Day)

To my dearest daughters,

When I first learned that I was going to be a father, I felt a sense of pride, unlike anything I had ever felt before. Suddenly, I was going to be responsible for this "unborn being" that would have to be nourished, nurtured, and protected. It brought on a rush of different emotions -- anxiety, uncertainty, excitement, and happiness. I was also hit with a feeling of exclusivity: I was going to join a fraternity called "fatherhood." It was, in my perception, something that separated the men from the boys.

Before you were born, I prayed to God for a safe birth for you and that no untoward incident would happen to you and your mom. The first time I ever laid eyes on you, I felt tears well up in my eyes. I felt pure, unadulterated joy.

My most memorable moments from your childhood are all of your first steps, your first words, your first days at school, and most importantly, something I still experience now that you're all grown up, your hugs and kisses.

Of course, I remember the good times more than the bad, and I am grateful that you are all obedient, respectful, God-fearing, and loving children. All of you are special in your own way. Unna, you have displayed wonderful characteristics as a mother anf you've shown great responsibility for a woman your age. Maxene, you're naturally gifted as a speaker and as an actress. You're very articulate, and you have a commanding presence. You are also a very fine specimen of a woman -- gifted with height, beauty, and brains. Plus, you're a hard-worker -- and very generous to your family.

Saab, you are special because you are beautiful, period. In my eyes, I see myself in you -- a loner, a non-conformist, and a passionate person. Gifted in the literary arts, you exude intelligence way beyond your years. Clara, you are, pound for pound, the best seven-year-old in everything. A natural born talent who started singing at age three, who has a penchant for fashion, and is truly intelligent, academically and theatrically. You finished First Honors this 2008 with an average of 94.67 percent -- now that is special!

What I love most about our father-daughter relationship is the fact that it is based on mutual respect, admiration, friendship, and love. I respect that you all need your personal space; I never intrude in your personal affairs, except that maybe when you get hurt emotionally or physically. I let you fight your personal battles so you'll learn to be strong. Always remember that I have an open hotline 24/7, for any problem you may have -- mentally, spiritually, or emotionally.

Please understand that I am an ally at all times and never an enemy. Your welfare is my only concern. Heaven forbid that anything bad happens to you, I only wish you the best. And I will always be here for you -- my home and my heart are open for you at all times. I am your friend, protector, and father all the days of my life.

Like all fathers, I just want to love you unconditionally. And I write this with tears in my eyes.

Love,
Dad

This is from the real life section of Seventeen magazine's June 2008 issue. A beautiful letter from the late Francis Magalona for his daughters.



This just shows how important we are to our fathers. They are painstakingly doing all the best they can just to provide us all that we need. Most of us misunderstood them on being too protective and strict but maybe that's their way of showing how they love us. Our fathers just want what is best for us. They don't want us to be hurt. Instead of complaining, learn to appreciate. I cannot name all the reasons why we should be thankful to our fathers. We are what we are now because of them and it will still be because of them whatever we may become. They are part of us.

I just wish my father is with me today, that we will be able to celebrate this day and make him feel how special he is to me. Thank you for being the father you re to me. I may not be that vocal to you, but you are really special to me. Sorry for the mistakes I have committed. I love you, daddy. And I'll be seeing you on Friday. :) MR. PABLO MUSNI, I love you so so so much.

And this goes to all of the fathers out there, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.
*kudos*

CREDITS:
FIRST PICTURE to Tazzer27

In this world there's real and make believe

I am super pissed off today. I waked up 15 minutes before my first class. I'm late. AGAIN. What's new about this? HAHA. Oh well, I am an hour late, not bad for my two hour PE class. :D
Oh, that smiley is pretending, I am really not in to the smiling mood now.

So yes, I am an hour late and that class was our first meeting with our PE instructor. They told me there's a punishment for late students, and that is, I should be singing. FCUK! I love singing but I don't really sing. But they're urging me to sing just for the attendance. FCUK AGAIN. Gullible as I am, I sang. And I sang a cheesy love song. FCUK.

Then suddenly, they're all like laughing then told me it was a prank. SH*T. I hate them all. I wish I just did not attend that class. I am loathing this day. EVER. My new classmates do not know me that well yet, and then they saw me singing? Shoot. I think they'll be snobbing me from now on. HOHOHO.

You know what hurts? My friends. God. My friends did not even tell me that it was nothing but a joke after all. Great friends. I hate them too. HAHA.

And you know what hurts me most? Our instructor dismissed us just after my number. Yes, after they heard my ange-hell-ic voice, the class ended. So I have a total of 5 minutes time attending that class -- 4 minutes is the time they're asking me to sing and 1 minute is that me experiencing embarrassment and hell.

I am on the computer shop now, just outside school. I just want to be with my best-est friend, the computer. Releasing this fcuking feeling. Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick. Sh*t. I know that isn't really a big thing. But sorry, this is a big thing for me and you have to deal with that.

Okay. I'll continue this later at home. My mind is stuck, you know. Wish me luck later on facing my classmates. MWAHAHAHA. Oh, I'm so excited to attend my Oral Communication class later, favorite one. And because I'll be seeing my great gay professor later. I just adore him. Yay, I feel some kinda relieved. :3 Somehow.

•••

I'm home now. And I am happy to say that I am feeling okay now. Very okay. I have a lot of reasons to be happy and its because:

• Its raining. YEHESS. :D

• My room is the perfect spot to see my crush. HAHA

• My current favorite professor gives me a 10 on our activity.

• I met cute and hot guys this afternoon

• One of those guys looks like L Lawliet. My L Lawliet. <3 style="font-style: italic;">(He's a classmate!)

• I am beside a cute guy on the jeep

• I am in front of a handsome and smells-so- good guy on the jeep

• I am able to have skin to skin with him, about 347 times. WUHOO. HAHAHAHA

• I came home early

• I am in front of the computer now

• I am getting in love with Christofer Drew Ingle
  

• It's a Friday tomorrow. YES.

• There is no more NSTP class during Saturdays.

• I'm gonna reach level 12 in no time.

• Lastly, my Mommy is coming home tomorrow. YAY!

Oh, I think it is all about boys this time, HOHO. Go on, call me a bitch. MWAHAHA. I don't even care, eh? At least I am happy. HAHA.

Hey, sorry for the fcukfcuk things and sh*tsh*t things above and on my previous posts, ah? I just can't help not to say type that. But I want to change really. Yes, I am serious. Please, just bear with me, for now. Thanks.

Fcuk what i said it dont mean sh*t now

Okay. How should I start this? I don't know. :D

So to make this much easier, I'll do this the preschooler kind of way:

In a child-like voice...

The first day of my second year in college is like a vegetable that mommy gives me, I don't want to take and eat it but I have to, this is for my own good blah, blah, blah... like what she always told me.
I made it past 1 pm. I am late but my teacher is later than I am, and so that makes me early. It is very hot that's why I am not in the mood. I am loathing my class schedule. There's this teacher who gave us assignment... on the first day of classes. *how's that?*

I am with my old friends and I met my new classmates. I have a long chat with them. Asking about everything happened on their vacations. We are talking about each others toys. I feel relieved. Especially when it rained; the hardest. I really love the rain.

One of my teachers did not show up, that's why we decided to go to the canteen and eat up.



We went to the room after eating and still there's no teacher appearing and that's why we ended up playing. We are (illegally) playing cards, on the first day of classes. *how's that? again, I know.*

Normal mode...

We are waiting for 1 1/2 hour but luckily, the teacher did not come. Bummer.

I went to the mall with my friends just because I thought our guy friend is there, I have a promise to be made, eh? And when in the mall, I am surprised when they said that he's not there and he is heading home but then he'll be coming back to the mall again just for us. Yes, it is raining that time. Aww. Aww. Aww. Super sweet. :)

He treat us, yay! It's his birthday last June 12. Belated to you! :) I told my girl friends that we should buy something for him, so that's it. While he is ordering for our food, we sneaked in and looked for something to give and guess what it is... TA-DAAH... It's a brief. HOHOHO. Brown brief with stars to be exact. My choice. Wuhoo. Well, I just hope it'll fits him. (I know you'll gonna read this, I am super sorry for exposing it here. Don't worry, there are no names stated. Smile. :D)

(For my own opinion, underwear given as a gift for the opposite sex is very sexy. Really.)

*And as for the logic that I am one of those who have given an underwear, it just clearly states that I am sexy. MWAHAHAHA.

I AM SEXY, RIGHT? ANSWER ME. YES OR YES? :D :D

*SADLY, there are no pictures taken while we eat and most sadly, there is no picture of the brief. Argh, I forgot to take a shot. It's cute pa naman. I will be seeing it, maybe.. Soon. Or maybe later today (June 16, 2009) If he'll allow me too. MWAHAHAHA... But its close to impossible for me to hold it. :( Yes, I really am in touched with that undies. HOHO. Oh yes I know, you are cursing me right now. HAHA. Sorry.

After we dine out, we went home. I dropped at Lara's party and then that's the only time I reached home. We chat with Mommy and Daddy, it's been 4 days since they went away. Jeez, I am so helpless, I cannot sleep. I am too paranoid the past days. I am missing them SO SO SO much. :( Yeah, that's why I am still awake until now. I really can't sleep. :((( Ugh, I have to stop this. I don't want to cry.

Oh, this guy friend really made my day. He texted me and said, he really came back because my friend texted him that I did not go home yet just because I thought he's there. Oh well, sweet. Nakakakilig. HAHAHAHA. Anlakas koo! :) ILY guy friend. HAHA.

Oh yes, I'm gonna share you my good night quote which I messaged to my friends:

"It is hard to run from a feeling that hunts me every now and then. It is painful to tell my heart that I don't need it. I keep on pretending that it's better to be alone when in fact I feel so empty. But why take chances if I see no hope? Why try if there's nothing to win for? Sometimes, it pays to wait. Never hurry. Let infatution die a natural eath and gives birth to true love when its time."

So that's it for now and I'm here ending this and slowly fading away...


NOTES:
◘ Sorry for the title.
◘I'll be mentioning names on my future blogs. SWEAR.

•••••

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fading
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

This is the part where the end starts

My friend June kicked in and it only means one thing: back to school -- much to my dismay of ending vacation. But I know I should welcome it with open arms. Who knows? This school year may bring me lot of wonderful surprises. So there's no time for whining here, dear.

Yes, another year is waiting to be faced by me. When I first got to college, all of my classmates and new friends thought that I was the serious and studious type. I was not shocked that I gave off that first impression though I know it was so not me, it is just that most people do think I'm one, eh? And now that I have survived my first year, I thought of making myself the studious type. I mean, I will study harder this time because I want to take-up next year my real course which is Accountancy. Yes, I have shifted to Business Administration major in Managerial Accounting this year. (the reason why is posted on my blog on Multiply) So may this goal urge me to strive harder on school. I'll make the most out of it. SWEAR.

I really need to study harder this time. Much harder. Harder than ever. I promise. I swear. But I promise too that I will not turn to a psycho-geek. I will still be me. The studying harder me, I should say. :)

YES. All it takes is a promise and I'll be having a year with no regrets.

I am excited to go to school because:

• allowance is coming
• bond with my friends again
• expand my circle
  
• cheat again? :))
• I can use my new pens

I am not excited to go to school because:

• I am lazy to go to school
• I hate my class schedule
• I am scared of my class schedule
• My parents is not yet here by then
  
• I am still enjoying my vacation
• Lots of homework is on my way again
• Sleepless nights again -- because of projects
• Boring classes
• It is the start of conforming with my promise above, hoho. :3

Toinks. Well, it looks like I have more reasons of not going to school, ah? :D

*****

On some other news, one hour to go and I'll be having no parents appearing here. sad. One week with no mother, two weeks with no father. sobs. They're bound to go to Hongkong. Aw. (More aw because I was supposed to be going there with them.) They're flight is on 6 am tomorrow and they'll be leaving here later at 1 am. Jeez, this will be the first and longest time my parents will be away . Miss Independent in the house, yo! :) sniff.
It is sad because there will be no mother assisting us on the first day of classes. It is so sad that there will be no father sending and fetching us in school. How ironic that when someone's leaving it is the only time you'll realize they're worth. The simple things and stuffs they have done, you know. I know this will be hard. I really am sure. Ugh, but I hope I'll make it. Be the sister to my brother and be the queen of our home. Wuhoo. I'm in tears right now. Boohoo.


Cheerio, my dearest parents!
I love you!
take care.
♥


P.S. I just hope you'll be able to read this. Oh, and buy me pasalubongs, alright? :)

Katz-arap!

Surprise! I am here now. hoho. Oh, well. Nothing's new except that I miss this. :) I am always online, you know that. :) But the past days, my online hours is from 11 am until 2 am... And I don't know why, haha. But yes, I feel sorry for I have not updated my blog the past days, it is just that my attention is super focused on another addicting Playfish game and it is no other than Restaurant City.
Obviously, it is about foods, restaurant eh? Duh! This is fun and for me, a strategic game. It is added to my list on why I love Facebook. :) In Restaurant City, I can hire my own friends and let them work on my resto. They can be the chef, waiter, or cleaner, you know. I can exchange ingredients too with my fellow restaurateurs to improve my menu. I can go restaurant-hopping anytime I want. Plus, I'll be the one in-charge with the interiors of my hub. Very great!
Having my own restaurant is a dream that's why I am enjoying this. Ugh, addicted to this is more appropriate, I guess. It is still on the works, and as of now I am on level 8. I started just last Saturday afternoon. Not bad, because it is kind of hard to level-up. Oh yes, I named my very own restaurant Katz-arap :9 (I know, it's funny.) Go laugh!

And here are some pictures of my humble restaurant:

INSIDE














MENU
















OUTSIDE















WORKERS

oh, crap!

I'm presenting to you, my ever beloved class schedule.
The perfect schedule ever... NOT.
Afternoon classes? Fine.
but classes until 7pm? It isn't effin' fine.
BUMMER!!! :|
Oh well, I've got no choice, eh? Tss..
Good luck to me this first semester.
*sighs*

*I've been absent on the blogging scene the past days, I'm kinda busy with my life, you know. But I'll be summing all of my activities up some other time. SWEAR. So for now, just kill your time enjoying Joe's stint. HAHA.

Joe Jonas Dancing Single Ladies

THIS VIDEO MADE MY DAY. :))
I'm not a Jonas Brothers' fan anyway.
HAHAHA.
Thanks to Yahoo!
It made me laugh.
Hilarious Joe Jonas.
SOOO GAY. :D

When I look at the stars, I feel like myself

Vacation. Midnight. Rain. Cold. Alone. Net. The perfect set-up for me. All the happiness, freshness and satisfaction fills me... until when all of it was ruined by my parents. BOOHOO!

It was about one in the morning when they saw me still awake asking why am I still up, what am I doing in front of the computer, what am I doing with my chat mates -- especially that they're both guys. Those CSI-like interrogations. WTH? They are my friends and we can talk about anything. They're accusing me AGAIN. Oh, they always do.

Loneliness. Coldness. It did not get me into sleep that I ended up thinking about a lot of things instead -- things that brought me into tears. Random stuffs that engulf my consciousness. I feel melancholic. So melancholic that I know the sky is with me. There are no stars that will give me company.

The sweltering and feel-good music ringing in my ears made me sleep. Thanks to Maria Mena! :) I forcibly convinced myself to lock my eyes, hoping that the rest of my day will be fine. It was around four in the morning that time.

And here I am now, awake. Making the rest of my day and hoping still, that all of this goes well and ends well.

Maybe I've been the problem, maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself, the outcome feels the same
I've been thinking maybe I've been partly cloudy, maybe I'm the chance of rain
Maybe I'm overcast, and maybe all my lucks washed down the drain

CREDITS:
picture to wantyouback

Linger

BEACH

by J. Ana Fuentes Flores

Think about those parts of a woman
you’d like to feed on,
as you love on the sands of some region.
The taste of these parts will mingle with the sea.
They will remind you of raw oysters.
I have those parts too.
Perfumed with my knowledge
of the ways of this life.
I have lengths and mounds and tips
in sinful shades of pleasure:
crimson, golden tan, coral pink, virgin white
like you’ve never imagined.
If only you chose to,
I can be a familiar weight in your hands –
a known heat that will remind you
of the sea in the summer.
If you only chose to,
The right and just season will come,
when you can hold out
your strong hands and wait.
Be patient.
You will feel the tides of my sea
rise,
swell,
and fall into you.

CREDITS:
picture to borntosparkle

You said you would come rain or shine

My summer class is finally over. Officially over. (biggest smile ever!) ^------^

As for the result of my exam on my history class, (the one I have mentioned on my previous post that I give no time to review) I have *drum rolls please* PASSED it. Wuhoo! I wasn't expecting to pass for I really do not know anything about that but I am able to read some parts of it anyway before the exam starts. It helps though!

I really can't express how happy I am now. So I've decided to just list down the reasons of my happiness:

• I PASSED on my last exam
• I can sleep all-day long and whenever I want to
  
• Rainy days is coming
• My birthday is coming too! :D
• I can go online whenever I want to
• I have enough time to read my new books and magazines.
• I can go places now.
• I will now have new sign pens and stick notes.
• I can give more focus on my games.
• I can watch tons of movies and my favorite series!
• I'll be a super couch potato again
• John Lloyd and Liz Uy is not together anymore. MWAHAHA. (I am so sorry for this.)
• My unlimited text will be more sulit. :)
• I'll be away from my friends in quite some time. hoho.

Though I am this happy now, there are some issues too that troubles me:

• No allowance for two weeks. (This one makes the two weeks long)
• I am going to miss writing my block and section.
• I am going to miss the cute guys in school. HAHA.
• I'll be less noisy this time.
• I think I'll be fatter. HAHA
• I am shifting course this year
• I'll be away from my friends in quite some time

Yehheess! Isn't it lovely? :)

When it rains do you sleep through it?
Do you face the day?
Do i make you feel like you're in the way?
And when it's sunny, do you stick around when it shines
And i come by your house to close the blinds

And you, you change, cause I hardly ever see you when it rains
Could you call me please and make my day?

CREDITS:
first picture to P0RG
last picture to Chatiel777