FUCKERIES OF LIFE

22Feb10, 06:23 AM

Rise and shine, people! Oh yes, I'm awake. Last time of being online? 01:38 AM. But I am awake until 02 AM sumfing.Yeah, you totally got it. I don't have a life. I'm stuck with this, like forever.

What's up with about the 5 hours when I'm away? Totally not fine. Yes, I cried. Felt so alone. Damned. Doomed. I had a fight with my dad. And it's like a big fight. There, I found out that I am brave enough and a coward at the same time. I can say things out, yeah, the real things but with my room door closed. Yes, 'cos my father's too mad at me that he want to slap me with slippers and stuff. So yeah, I don't want to be hurt physically, that's why I hide then do the talking. We have exchanged words of fuckeries and stuff. Good way to start a day. Morning again, anyway!

So yeah, I have to attend school at 08:30 AM, I made this while drinking my newly found slimming coffee. Uh-huh, I'm not joking. I'm believing that it can make me slim. Oh please. I'm dead serious now. I want to lose weight. Fuck it. (Oh, and now I put up a fight with my mom. We've been nagging the whole time I write this paragraph.) Beat my family people. My ever-cool family.

So back to the coffee, this will be my first day to drink it, as I have read reviews on the 'net, I so hope this will work for me too. I've mentioned on my past post that I put up a game with 4 of my guy friends about me, losing weight, right? So yeah, I hope this will help me. But of course, I'm gonna help myself too. Oh, wish me luck. I need that.

*My mom's on the background again* Hay, why is my life like this? Oh well, I don't have a life as I say but why do I still feel this way? What should I do to make everything okay? Like srsly serious, I'm too tired of everything. I want to make my fucked up life fixed. Now. Ugh, what about suicide? Hah, joking. I'm not that stupid and desperate to do such act, but I'll consider it still.

I'mma end this now. My mom said, "Wag ka nang aalis diyan. Wala ka ng ginawa. Maghapon, magdamag, madaling araw. Ano ba nagagawa niyan? Sisikat ka ba diyan? Papakainin ka ba niyan?" And now I say, if only I can do so, I'll glue myself here, forever. Shit, I'm doing something. Can't you see? I'm doing something, but not so productively. I blow shits like this everyday. I share my thoughts and crafts to people the way I only know. I made others happy by giving out advices I fail to give myself. I blog about things; Read others' blogs. Oh cyberworld, that keeps me company. I feel alone but with this, I can feel a companion. I can say things, the things I can't say to people. Oh yes, I'm too famous now. I'm known. Try googling my name. And you'll see the shit. It ain't true but it fucked me to the bones. I hate it. Some strangers know me too. And they give a damn stalking me. They're interested with my life, unlike you. Yes, I know there'll be a time that I'll get money from this. And I can buy and eat anything I want. But now, I don't bother at all, 'cos I'm on a diet, JSYK.