SLEEPLESS

It`s been so many nights now that I can`t sleep. And I hate it. I am running out of things to do. I ended up staring. Staring somewhere far. Staring at the sky. No stars. Full moon. Very lonely. The sky is lonely. The sky is me.

I have no one to talk to. Everyone`s asleep. I am alone. Chase Coy`s songs on the background. Sad songs. Happy songs. Perfect songs for me. He has written it all for me. It`s as if all is written for me. For us.

I`m thinking about everything. Think about something; about someone; about him. About you. Asking myself all the what ifs, could have beens, should have beens. I`m talking to myself. I`m talking to you. I`m imagining that you`re there talking to me too. Lying in bed and talk about things. We`re talking so much that we haven`t noticed the time. Endless. I`m crying and you too. We`re telling things we can`t say to anybody else. It`s a good feeling. I can pour my emotions with nobody else but you.

I cried so much. I cried to sleep. It took me four hours of sleep. You`re not in my dreams. It was a peaceful sleep. I have released everything. I have released it to you. And then I woke up. I`m back to reality and realized that everything is just made by my imagination. All are just my illusion. Desperate illusion. You`re not there. You`re not crying. You`re not talking to me. You`re not with me. But everything I said were all true. It came from my heart. All of it. But I haven`t told you the thing I want to tell you the most. The thing I`m dying to tell you. I plan to tell you that but I have slept. I have slept crying. It`s like the reality. I want to tell you but I can`t. There`s something that stops me to. And that`s why I ended up like this. Torn. Falling apart.

Don`t worry, in time. I`m going to tell you everything. I don`t want regrets come my way. I`ve been liking you so much. Yes, I don`t love you just yet. I like you. And I`m starting to like you more and love you. I want to let you know how good you make me feel. And though you make me feel bad at times too, it is not your fault. You`re wonderful. I hope you know it yourself.

Yes. Just in time.